Nursing week has come and gone pretty quickly. We got some
pretty neat gifts in appreciation of our hard work.
- Hospital branded pens – these were obviously cheap quality pens as the plastic shattered when we used them to knock on syringes to get those damn bubbles out.
- Hospital branded calculators – the higher ups decided that, for the paeds department, every nurse needed to have access to a personal calculator in order to calculate proper dosages, except they forgot that these were calculators given out hospital wide 3 years ago and now the batteries are dead.
- Free coffee and donuts on wednesday – because that’s what nurses need, caffeine and fatty carbs. Whatever happened to healthy foods like a fruit tray or even a cheese platter? I’d love that. Oh, and it really is a pity that the coffee and donuts couldn’t be offered more often. They must have somehow come to the magical conclusion that every nurse that works in the hospital is on premises on a wednesday at noon.
- Raffle for an “I LOVE NURSING” t-shirt, where the LOVE is actually a heart. I don’t think anyone even bought tickets…
When you and your child come to the hospital, we fully expect that you will do everything in your power to be with your child and to become involved with their care. Obviously, we are not going to make you check their IVs, but you need to change your baby’s diaper (I’m not joking), get used to giving them their oral meds (if they don’t learn to take it from you, how do you expect them to take meds when they go home?), making sure their behaviour is in check, you know, all the stuff parents are supposed to do.
I’m sick and tired of parents who come and expect some kind of stellar star treatment. Especially the ones who think that we have nothing better to do than to wait on them hand and foot. Um, I’m sorry but I happen to be taking care of more than just your kid so, come back down to reality and shut up.
Oh, and when your kid is in the hospital, please do NOT abandon them. Do you know how incredibly sad it is to call the Children’s Aid Society and report that the parents have potentially abandoned the kid? And know that pretty much everyone will bang their head against the wall and talk about you when you give some sh*t-faced answer of, “oh, well, I thought I’d come pick her up when she’s all better”. YOUR KID IS NOT A BROKEN APPLIANCE!!!! THEY ARE A HUMAN BEING! Heaven forbid the day that parent gets admitted to a hospital and their loved ones figured they’d pick them up when they’re all brand-spankin’ new again.
Please treat your kids the same way you want to be treated in a hospital.
We had a kid whose mother was one of those parents. You know, the kind that is super demanding, refuses to cooperate and insists that everything was done according to her schedule. I don’t know why we allowed her to do this, but nonetheless, the kid got better and was finally discharged. We all breathed a sigh of relief.
Zip forward to a year and a half later, the present day. Mom and kid saunters onto the unit. Everyone stops for a brief second and stares in horror. What could possibly bring her back? She absolutely abhorred the staff, the unit, and the entire hospital. Turns out the kid had a school project to do and really wanted to interview some of the people who helped her to get better. I thought it was pretty sweet. Some of the nurses went to go chat with them and told her it was a great idea for her school project. Mom’s reply was like a slap in the face.
“Yeah, but I never thought we’d have to come back here and see your faces again.”
It’s the beginning of shift. I walk into my cute, little, 10 year old patient’s room to do say hi and do his vitals. His dad and uncle are also there, engaged in the topic of movies. My stethescope is in my ears so I can’t hear what they were talking about, but my little kiddie started giggling uncontrollably. I took my stethescope out of my ears and asked what was so funny.
“Oh daddy’s going to get into so much trouble with mommy! He’s going to get into trouble!” The dad looked at his kid and asked what was going on but the kid just kept giggling. Mom walks in a couple minutes later and the kid can barely contain his excitement.
“Mommy mommy mommy! Daddy said he was going to go home and watch PORN!!!” The mom turned to look at dad and raised an eyebrow. Dad had his mouth hanging wide open and the uncle had a confused look. Together, they tried to recall their conversation. Then it clicked in. Dad had said he was going to go home to watch The Bourne Identity.
Sometimes it’s really apparent when parents aren’t in tune with what’s “rad and cool” these days. Take one dad for example. He had accompanied his daughter to the hospital during an admission to query why she had a mysterious syncope episode at school. She was constantly listening to her iPod and barely acknowledged me when I tried to ask her questions. Exasperated, her father grabbed her iPod and wrenched the earbuds out of her ears.
“For crying out loud Samantha! At least listen when the nurse is talking to you instead of listening to that garbage music from Butlers and Acorns!”
The daughter rolled her eyes.
“It’s Usher and A-Kon dad.”
Mom had come by the nurses station asking for a roll of tape so she could hang up some pictures and drawings in her daughter’s private room. I didn’t see any harm in that so I gave her a roll of medipore. I walked in the room to do my 1600 VS to find her using the tape to do other things – namely, to wax her arm hair.
Hospital visits that involve the family can get tricky. Especially those that are broken. Take this one family for example. Came to the hospital with acute appendicitis and had a lengthy stay with us on the ward. Mom and dad are divorced, but very nice people. They’re civil to each other, and I appreciate that they try so hard for their child. When they leave the room, it’s clear that they want nothing to do with each other, but in the room, it’s all niceness and pleasantries. So imagine the drama that ensued one fine weekend.
Mom and dad happened to arrive around the same time to visit their child. Both stayed for a couple of hours and were waiting for their boy/girlfriend to pick them up for lunch. Both parents were surprised the other was seeing someone, but kept a straight face. The boyfriend showed up first. Pleasant introductions. Partway through conversation, a woman’s voice was heard screeching, “YOU BASTARD! SO THIS IS THE OTHER WOMAN!!! YOU !@#$@#$!@#$!$#%$^%!^!$@#^”
Turns out the boy/girlfriend was actually a married couple whose marriage was on the rocks, and they were each having an affair with the previously mentioned divorced couple. We quickly called security to escort them all out.